March 12, 2009

on how i didn’t know what i wanted till i didn’t want it

Posted in Poetry at 12:05 am by meldee

cryptic wings adrift

beating upon smokescreen flesh

drink me whole till death.

 

my soundless soul waits

covered with magnesium

steal those kisses cool.

 

glints of irony

barbed wire stings through the night

silicone tears fall.

 

broken fingers lie

draw blanks in my empty cup

sucked in by the light.

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March 10, 2009

on those funny, familiar, forgotten feelings

Posted in Strange Feelings at 12:16 am by meldee

Softness amidst steel.

Canon EOS Kiss, Ubud, Bali.

***

Sometimes the smallest, weirdest things stick in your mind long after the person who’s said it has disappeared.

Sometimes it hurts more than you’d like to acknowledge it does, because usually it’s true.

It feels weird, because you know so much time has passed, but it haunts you and it aches.

Oh, it aches.

I never was the type who could bear the idea of someone else despising me. Perhaps I have chronic insecurity issues (which come to think of it, I reckon I do). Perhaps I’m a doormat.

Perhaps I just can’t forget some things, even though I do have a legendary goldfish memory.

Perhaps it’s just bloody Venus in retrogade swirling around some toxic feelings but oh, what I’d give to do things differently.

Perhaps it’s just me.

But because of that obscure comment, as wrinkly crooner Tom Jones warbled, ‘those funny familiar forgotten feelings started walkin’ all over my mind’.

I am now beyond mortified that I know the words to a Tom Jones song, even though it is only the chorus (and I Googled it, so I must be cheating).

Maybe it’s not my time to forget.

The question is, have you?

March 1, 2009

the sisterhood

Posted in Dahlings at 3:32 pm by meldee

I am in hiding today. 

(I need these spells of alone time).

Avoiding (most) human contact. 

So I read (finished the last of the bloody Twilight series, no pun intended–I intensely dislike the characters but wanted to finish reading it just so I could say I’d read it) and I watch DVDs.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 was on my list of movies. I’d never seen TSOTTP1 but I figure it can’t be too different. Miracles of miracles, I actually quite liked it.

I credit Alexis Bledel, I think she’s as cute as a button and I am utterly in love with the character she plays in Gilmore Girls.

Digressions aside, it made me think about how much I miss my sisterhood. Back in the day there were 10, but since we left high school (shock and horror) five years ago the numbers of the Dahlings (cheesy name, long story) have since dwindled.

I don’t know what’s on everyone’s mind anymore. I don’t know about the love/relationship dramas, the conflicts with silly ex-boyfriends, the money matters (increasingly so, since most of us have started to live away from home and on our own paychecks—not that mine’s arrived yet), the spells of loneliness/anger/depression/mellowness…

It’s something I suppose we’ll never get back, and it makes me sad. If only we’d known this back then, perhaps we’d have tried harder. Or perhaps things would still be the way they are now, because that’s how it was meant to be.

Still, I can’t help missing what I once held so close to my heart.

I miss you, girls.