June 25, 2008

on vices

Posted in Ranty Pants at 9:39 am by meldee

Full to overflowing.

Taken with my Canon EOS KISS,  50mm. Cousin’s wedding, Malacca.


I had to go for a (full) medical checkup yesterday because the Ministry of Higher Education suddenly decided that all sessional staff, be you a tutor or lab technician, needs teaching permits.

We get orders on Monday to produce a detailed medical report, chest x-ray, two referral letters from people who’ve known us for more than five years (yeah, like, five years ago I was still in high school), fill out four pages of forms and provide our birth certificate number (so it isn’t enough proof for me to give you my IC number or actually exist, now I have to prove I was actually born?) by, er, today. Wednesday.

Oh the sweet, sweet efficiency and competence of…nevermind, you know what I’m thinking.

Anyhoo. So I was filling out forms at the Staff Health Clinic at the nearby hospital and as usual, ticked ‘No’ to the ‘do you consume drugs/cigarettes/alcohol’ question. Given how regularly I drink/smoke/do drugs, which is occassionally/when the spirit moves me/not at all.

I think the doctor I saw that checked my blood pressure, etc was in a foul mood or something with all the M.University sessional staff coming in in a steady flow (full to overflowing) because she kept pressing that issue. “Are you sure you don’t drink/smoke?”

Me: “No” (as blase as I can be).

Her: “Not even one puff?” (eyebrow cocked)

Me: (stuttering) “Yeah, well, I mean, one puff, who hasn’t tried one puff”.

Her: (smug grins) “Every little bad thing you put into your body has adverse effects, my dear.” (as she’s happily striking out my feeble ‘No’ on the form and scrawling by the side, ‘SOCIAL’.

Now, what the hell.

(I should now acknowledge that I am at fault here for lying on my medical forms; but maybe it wasn’t really lying because oh come on I thought that you’d have to be, say, a pretty regular smoker/drinker to tick that box, but then again what the hell do I know, I’m a freaking Communication student)


My point is that rawwwr stop being so bloody condescending and superior what the hell you think just because you are in the medical line you can be all uppity as if you don’t drink/smoke/do drugs/have unsafe sex (wtf)/eat without washing your hands for 30 seconds with soap and water! I don’t know why some people think they can get on their high horse just because they’re in a ‘noble’ profession. Sif you’ve never done anything bad/illegal/fattening in your life before or done anything that could “have adverse effects on your body, my dear”. Like I could be a trash collector and isn’t that noble? I mean I’m clearing up your shit, and I could be the bestest person in the whole wide world because I’m kind loving generous a good mother/father/sibling and YOU in your spotless white lab coat and stethoscope acting all better than me could be a wife/husband/child/animal beater who steals You-Say-Aah sticks (um, I think the correct term is tongue depressor) from the hospital to make houses with UHU Glue RAWWWWWRRR!


Ok that was actually kind of therapeutic, but I suspect I might get shot down for being, erm, stupid.

Point is, we all have vices. Vices are ok. Vices are even good. In moderation.

The freaking Middle Path dangnammit! Though, er, I think the Buddha did say something about not doing things to hurt yourself, or others. Which, er, includes intoxicants like alcohol.

Gaaaah I hate being wrong.

*stalks off in fury


1 Comment »

  1. ish said,

    I love the pictures you take with your camera. Did I mention that? Well, now I did.

    And wow, one puff means you are a social smoker? WTF?! I thought you were a social smoker when you’d smoke at every party/social occasion or something. This is insane. Going by that standards, they’ll label me an-insane-threat-to-the-world-should-be-arrested-immediately-drunkard. :/

    meldee: thanks ish! 🙂 you’re like my bestest commenter, lol.

    yeah well apparently. silly doctor. i’m still sore.

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