May 31, 2007

oh what have i done…

Posted in I Wonder..., Random Ramblings at 3:51 pm by meldee

I’ve done possibly either an incredibly stupid or incredibly brave thing.

As part of an experiment (by whom I shall not say, except it’s not for my parents–and this will be published, where I shall not say for now either), I have agreed to spend all of Saturday–

without my computer. I.e. I’m not allowed to turn it on, use it, touch it, or look at it. Ok maybe the last one is a bit extreme but you catch my drift.

I’ve become extremely attached to Isadella. First thing I do in the morning is flip her open and press her buttons to turn her on (ooh, this sounds saucy) for my daily dose of emails, blogs and news. Not to mention my music, and old episodes of Sex And The City when I’m extremely bored. And of course, there’s MSN, where I catch up on my goss and talk to the Kiwi for hours on end…

OMG I’m suffering withdrawal symptoms already as I type this. I’m being seized in a chokehold of panic and neediness. 24 hours without my computer, can or not? Plus I’m stuck at home being my brother’s chauffeur to church and back, I’m broke, parents will be camping in Cameron’s, I’ve pretty much finished all the studying I need to do…

24 hours, can I do it? o_O

I mean you may think I am completely overreacting (and fair enough, I may be), but think about it right, how dependent are YOU on YOUR computer? As your connection to the rest of the world, etc? I’m already in a state of panic, trying to round up friends and convince them that they have to come out with me on Saturday night to help distract me from my computer.

Honestly, I have attachment issues with Isadella :/

Though after all is said and done, as Dennis said, this will be more than just a social experiment, it will be a test of discipline and willpower–two qualities which I think I am sorely lacking. And it may be a good time for me to catch up on reading, and cleaning my room, sorting my closet according to colour…

Yeah. Gimme ideas on what to do, folks. I’m getting the shakes thinking about it.

Hand me my cigarettes. Oh hold on, I don’t smoke. Raaaaaaaaaaaah.

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May 30, 2007

who left the seat up?

Posted in I Wonder... at 8:39 pm by meldee

I noticed something strange today when I almost fell into the toilet bowl as I sat down to pee. This was in the girls’ toilets on the 3rd floor, near the Monash entrance to the library.

Who leaves the toilet seat up in the girls’ toilets?

Like, honestly. I get it if it happens at home, but who does it in girls’ toilets?

I’m so befuddled.

Though perhaps this could be put down to severe boredom and exhaustion, as I’ve been here in the Sunway-Monash library for almost 12 hours (in between my two meagre hours of class), and will until 10pm–I’m being hardcore and studying with Sue-Ann, though mind you it’s very hard to try and be studying when your insides are being corroded with jealousy as mine are, watching Shuf and Alvin bermushy-mushian. *weep*

Rarara. Anyway. Toilet seats. Hmm. Very dangerous when left up.

Take note, all men out there.

the melody travelfiles

Posted in Malaysia, My Home, Random Ramblings, Travel and Adventure at 10:05 am by meldee

So I’ve found a new goal to motivate myself to save money, ergo, not shop. I have decided (my epiphany hit me this morning while I was brushing my teeth, as some of the best realisations come–when you least expect them) to travel.

Honestly, screw studying some more, I beh tahan the idea of being stuck in uni for the next two years. While I know I have the results *flutters eyelashes*, I am honestly very sick of studying. Study so hard also for who? Myself? Obviously, but I want to go out and live a bit first, not be a loser adult stuck with some lameass curfew. My mother? Most definately, she’s the academically-driven one in the family who will not stop till we all have to refer to her as Dr. Mum.

I just want to take a month or two off, and travel cheaply.

Alone.

Not very smart right? But I am kind of  wanting to do this.

I was just telling my dad this morning how one of the girls at the Summit Rock Climbing Gym went to Everest Base Camp alone. Can meh? I said. Why not? said he.  I know they’re all like a big community up there.

I want to go can ah? Alone? I ventured. Go lah! he snorted.  Anywhere in the world….? I snuck him a glance with a cheeky grin.

Needless to say i think he means anywhere but Australia. Pfft.

I know it’s wishful thinking but if I were allowed to travel come year end, I really want to go to:

  1. AUSTRALIA! (hee hee hee hee hee)
  2. India (hello, Aanchal in Bombay!)
  3. A Buddhist pilgrimage to the eight sites: Lumbini (been there, but spent too little time for my own liking), Buddhagaya, Sarnath, Kusinara, Savatthi, Sankasia, Rajagaha and Vesali. All except the first are in India, so I suppose this falls under #2. A spiritual pilgrimage, oh wowee.
  4. Vietnam
  5. Portugal (hello Joana in Barreiro!)
  6. Santiago de Compostela in Spain–yes, Coelho’s influence.
  7. The Vatican City in Rome
  8. Greece (I want to see the Oracle at Delphi!)
  9. Chile and the Easter Islands
  10. Israel? Haha maybe this one a bit the cari maut la, but I’m seriously interested in going.

So there! My top ten places I simply must go to. Observe how I did not insert posh European cities. That one I’m saving for my honeymoon (hahaha nolah, actually I’d much rather go and bum around on some isolated beach resort in a tropical paradise like the Caribbean)–I’d secretly really love to go to Europe again and soak up the culture, but expensive lah!

Though I suppose this being Visit Malaysia Year I should be encouraging foreigners and bloghoppers to Visit Malaysia, Truly Asia. We have it all, from good food to cheap shopping to more good food, beaches, some of the oldest rainforests in the world, the highest peak in South East Asia…actually a more viable thing for me to do would be to have a cross country roadtrip, no?

Food for thought. We could drive up to Ipoh and eat our way up to Penang, drop by Sg. Petani and bunk with Jolene, go all the way up to Bukit Kayu Hitam, stop by in Perlis and…err….I dunno, what does Perlis have? Then drive to the East Coast and gorge ourselves silly on seafood and budu (never tried it!) and keropok lekor and all that… stay in Taman Negara for a few nights then go to Kuantan (I really like Kuantan for some reason), check out Tioman or all the rest of the little islands and national parks, drive down to JB and maybe Singapore, head over to Melaka, The Ninth State and then to KL (must spend a night there like a tourist!) then back to good old Subang!

ZOMG I’m getting excited now. Who wants to come roadtripping with me? At least two or three weeks la…one or two nights at each place.

Brilliant idea, no? That way I can be ‘home’ and not truly home 😀

May 29, 2007

little drummer boys

Posted in Random Ramblings at 5:08 pm by meldee

Ok I don’t know what it is but there’s always been a ‘thing’ I’ve had for guys on drums. Like seriously, I’d forgotten how much I fetishise (is that even a word?!) them.

I was just watching the Estranged Itu Kamu video on YouTube (yes, I’ve finally caught on, the dinosaur that I am)  and it suddenly hit me, omigod, I love drummer boys. They can be unattractive by normal standards, or my standards, whichever is higher (heh), but for me, the moment they get behind that drumset, there’s just something that does it for me.

Does their banging symbolise something else? Structurally, in linguistic terms, it would, because banging = sexual prowess, etc– and we all know how I seem to sexualise everything theseadays–once again, I will refuse politely to take credit for this, and instead opt to pass this on to the Arts and Communications lecturers of Monash University who have successfully managed to spoil me for life (seriously, anything can be a phallic symbol to us Commies).

But I digress, seriously though. There is just something about the swishy hair and the head-bopping and their essential silence (have you ever heard of a drummer who is also a vocalist? Ok maybe there are, but humour me), the way they seem to be carried away in the pulsating rhythm, lost in the tempo, drowning in the beat…ooh la la.

Yeslah, I know I am deprived. You don’t need to keep on reminding me.

*****

So watching YouTube is a very effective way of indulging my procrastinating mood in between assignments (two more to go! Kubunudu*!) and studying, as is daydreaming and spacing out (as I have been wont to do over the last two or so days, for my own personal pleasure and reasons). As is bloghopping, and drooling over people’s purchases and secretly wanting to go out and spend my entire bank account on looking pretty.

I won’t do it, though. I’ve held on to my shopping hiatus for a good month or so now, and plan to, for a while more–until I can save up enough to perhaps think about buying a fast zoom camera (I’m not sure I’m prepared–financially, techonologically, or emotionally), specifically the Canon Powershot S3 IS one. It’s gotten good reviews in Stuff Malaysia–yes, I’m upping my ante and reading up on technological flashymajiggies.

There’s also the issue to consider, buying over my aunt’s SLK (again, that stands for Sexy Little Kelisa, thank you very much) at the year end, or scrapping the car-buying and camera-purchasing plans altogether to save up for a return to the Land Down Under.

I remain undecided, though the niggling urge to shop is beginning to come back to haunt me, as it always does around exams. What can I say, churning the economy and emptying my pockets while filling my wardrobe with more unnecessary items of clothing is my way of coping.

Everyone has their coping mechanisms– some, like my good friend Sush there, bakes or plays the piano (I was going to say ‘plays or bakes the piano’–a bit of a Freudian slip there? Or just plain idiocy, you could argue either way); others sleep, others cry. I shop.

Though honestly I need a more economical way of coping :/ I have a future to think of, and heaven forbid I will continue begging money off my parents. Call it stupidity, pride, arrogance or thoughtfulness, I am not entirely sure either.

*****

By the way I was watching Zero Hour on Discovery last night, about the massacre of the Nepali royal family–the reenactments were sort-of funny (trust me, I’m not laughing at the tragedy, just the acting) but nothing tickled my dad, brother and I more than the fact that ‘Prince Dipendra’s’ girlfriend used to call him ‘Dippy’. While we acknowledge this may be a fabrication on the writers’ parts, it makes it no less funny (or tragic).

Honestly, Dippy?

No offence, (and please don’t take this the wrong way), if I were called Dippy, I’d probably go berserk too.

But then again, Melody Song isn’t too far off -_-”

 *****

Rarara. Back to my theoretical research proposal. And more YouTube videos, in which you may rest assured that I’ll be checking out cute drummer boys *smirk*.

*long story behind this word. Ask me sometime.

May 28, 2007

l’amour

Posted in Love and Relationships, Random Ramblings, Strange Feelings at 9:23 pm by meldee

I shall profess that my knowledge of French is limited to ordering a hot chocolate or coffee with milk, and thank you, goodnight and…have a good trip? LOL. But there’s that word, l’amour, and phrase, je t’aime…I love you. Things just sound more romantic in French, no?:)

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about love. Erm, a whole month, I reckon, at least. Now before you start rolling your eyes and think, ‘Goddamn, another one bites the dust‘, bear with me. I shall try to minimize the mushspeak and adoring gibberish.

Lately I’ve been wondering how people figure out that the one they’re seeing, or is engaged to, is The One. Has anyone found their soulmate yet, just you know, to compare notes? So I know what to look out for, and see if all the warning signs are there *grin*.

Does the feeling, bam, hit you one morning? Or does it sneak up upon you out of the blue? And if you have figured it out, when is the time to react to it?

There’ve been so many stories of people getting engaged lately, mostly from the Kiwi’s circle of friends and acquaintances. No no, not dropping hints, just ponderings. What’s the ‘normal’ age to be engaged/married theseadays?

For our parents’ generation I think the trend was to wed at what, 25 onwards? Hearing stories of people finding love and jumping headfirst into marriage kind of worries me. That’s not too far off from where I am now! o_O But maybe I too am jumping the gun.

But what I can say for sure is, I’ve found someone who fills my thoughts and heart; whom I blatantly adore with all that I am…someone who makes me laugh and whom I cannot wait to talk to every single day when it’s Bug Time (7:30pm, GMT +8–take note I am very unavailable on MSN at that hour!)…someone who makes me feel safe and comfortable, but not in a bad way…someone who I can forsee a very fun-filled, exciting and yet indescribably lazy future with 🙂

And I miss him so. Sigh.

Raaaaaah. I actually really have no idea where this post is headed. So I shall end the torment and abort this post here.

*****

Edit: There’s this block quote from Paulo Coelho’s book The Pilgrimage (I think–I devour too many Coelho books for my own good)–I cannot remember what page exactly so bear with my half-arsed attempt at referencing.

“It’s good to get a second opinion on a lot of things but when it comes to matters of the heart, forget the rest of the world, forget expectations and forget the norm. When you decide to love, love with all your heart and love completely, for there is no other way to love…”

I think I have found my new mantra for living. And loving.

May 27, 2007

the devil’s dance

Posted in Poetry at 1:39 pm by meldee

Thread your fingers through my hair
Pull back gently, piercing stare
Put your lips close to my ear
Tell me you will always be near.

Hold the blade close to my veins
Make me call You by Your many names
Scrape fingers against alabaster skin
Incantations repeated, command sin.

Flames alight in your midnight eyes
Cover my mouth, stifle my cries
Coerce me to fulfil your every desire
Your icy touch burns like fire.

Your words grate like iron on steel
As you move me to do what you feel
I am disappearing into the trance
As you lead me in this morbid dance.

Whirl me around the burning floor
My limbs and mind are not mine anymore
Dip me, swirl me, torch my dress
My tears are falling but you could not care less.

Resistence is futile, you whisper sweet
You rip my heart and throw it at my feet
Laughter resounds, filling the hall
You want me, have me, completely, all.

We move to a rhythm as old as time
Requiring neither reason nor rhyme
Why I do exactly what you want
Beautifully evoke my hatred dormant.

You are evil, my darker side
Lust, sloth, envy, gluttony, pride
Indulgences in which I should not partake
I am afraid my spirit you will break.

Moments of weakness, I am yours
Caresses, dulcet voice, tender force
You know I want to experience all this
To lose myself in your deathly kiss.

It’s been so long. I very quickly–and very often–forget how much pleasure simple scribblings gives me. Yes, at times like these when I should be productive (academically, thank you), instead of doing work, I decide to tap into my creative side.