I know I’ve been M.I.A. again. I swear it’s a miracle that anyone still reads my blog (IF people still read my blog, that is, at the rate I’m going!).

But I’ve been busy with work, and anyone who’s started work recently knows how it is: the first week absolutely drags by and you feel like you want to quit but this is the Big Moment you’ve been waiting for and gearing up to all your life (why, employment, of course! We don’t study for like 16 years for nothing mmkay!) and you can’t ruddy chuck a hissy fit now can you?!

But of course I’m not properly working yet *grins*. It’s just a way for me to fill my days and work for a cause I believe in. And I’d be a total liar to say that the money isn’t a factor. I mean, I was willing to work for no or little money, but at the rate I’m going I’m actually very very happy *beams*.

But I am a big wuss when it comes to properly joining the labour force full-time. I know it’s so weird, considering among my friends I’m one of those who started working part-time pretty early but the idea of the drudgery of a 9-5 job 5 days a week 4 weeks a month 12 months a year makes me want to rip my hair out from the follicles and run up and down my street naked and foaming at the mouth.

You get the picture, I’m sure.

This year represents such a big turning point for so may people in my life. Most of my friends have graduated and are working or will be soon; Tim’s got a really promising proposition from the power station where he works at now and I’m embarking on writing my first dissertation and possibly, tutoring…it’s all immensely scary because I’m finally Growing Up.

I’ve also repaid my first RM500 on my PTPTN loan for university *beams*. I’m extremely proud of this as it’s come out of my own money, the little that I have, scraped together from my freelance work (that RM500 was basically 2 months’ worth of writing…eeps!) . With another job on the horizon (styling for a fashion booklet with a magazine),that’ll be another RM400 that can go to paying off my loan.

Ya, ya, I know I’m so obsessed by it ok but I absolutely hate being in debt. To anyone. Including the government, which is quite unfortunate when you think of it ironically. The idea of going out in the world with this huge-ass debt hanging over my head makes me squirm uncomfortably: how am I supposed to go backpacking around the world knowing that back home, I’ve deprived some poor-but-incredibly smart kid in the suburbs a chance at escaping the cycle of poverty through higher education?!

I’m tripping on guilt. But anyhoo.

For 2008 I have no resolutions. Only hopes.

• That things internationally will take a turn for the better. Much fewer (better yet, no more) assassinations, bombs going off, murders, corruption, natural disasters, infringement of democratic rights of peoples.
• That things back home will change—away with corrupt officials, lazy assemblymen, sexist parliamentarians. That freedom of assembly, speech and expression will be upheld and the constitutional right of every Malaysian will be respected. That we will bid adieu to the some of the cocky members of the ruling coalition and welcome those who can and will make a difference.

• That I will be consistent with doing my share of the chores at home.
• That I will not be too hard on the students I may prospectively tutor and cause them to drop out of the course.
• That I will seriously ace my Honours year and graduate with First Class Honours and be a kick-ass whateveriwanttobe.
• That it will not be a full year before I am with Tim again.
• That I WILL STOP BUYING SHOES. And clothes. And bags. And STARBUCKS COFFEE (rawr!). And whatever nonsense I can actually quite easily live without.
• That I will not rile my mother up and piss her off for fun. I hope I can find more conducive ways of entertaining myself and remember: high blood pressure runs in the family and that the guilt of ‘accidentally’ killing her would probably haunt me for a good many years.
• That I will no longer make stupid New Year’s Resolutions that I cannot keep.

Amen. Here’s to the future.

Bring it on, baybee.