I’m addicted to Facebook. You can tell from this post title even that one of my loves is my Fluff Friends application where I have a penguin called Frisky Tub O’Lard.

The Frisky part, inside joke, though I shall be kind and let you in on it because it’s damned funny.

When I was a kid living in Bournemouth, apparently when we’d go grocery shopping I used to ask my parents to buy me cat food (Friskies). I honestly don’t know why ok, I’m weird like that. But in all fairness I was about 3-4 years old, at least I’m not as bad as my now 29 year-old cousin who still can accidentally eat dog biscuits and rubber bands.

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I sent my car for servicing—damned power window on the driver’s side acting up. I know it’s typical for Protons, but still. I went in yesterday and waited for 45 minutes before they told me they didn’t have the parts so I’d have to come back the next day (today). They ended up changing both sides because apparently the one on the passenger side was wonky too. Pfft.

And now, and now—my reverse gear won’t engage properly. *storms around in a huff* I got cursed at by several cars when I was stuck at an awkward angle near the shops in USJ4. Bah humbug!

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I’m absolutely addicted to an acoustic version of Saybia’s The Second You Sleep. If you haven’t heard of it, here’s the YouTube vid.

The lyrics alone have me reduced to a state of wibbly tearfulness. I can’t really describe it, how it makes me feel. There’s something so haunting and beautiful about it, that reminds me all too well of my current situation re: The Boyfriend. You know, the ceaseless thoughts, the hopes for the future, the current frustrations.

Knowing that while we’ll be back together soon, it’s only for a while. It also resonates with a love that is bigger than one’s body, till it completes you, till it hurts. Reminders that any form of togetherness now occurs only in dreams, in slumber, to disappear as soon as your eyes open in hopes of seeing your loved one with you, only to realise your waking up separated you again.

I feel like crying again

The Second You Sleep – Saybia

You close your eyes
And leave me naked by your side
You close the door so I can’t see
The love you keep inside
The love you keep for me

It fills me up
It feels like living in a dream
It fills me up so I can’t see
The love you keep inside
The love you keep for me

I stay to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you’ll be gone
It gives me time to stay
to watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you’ll be gone
I wish by God you’d stay

I stay awake
I stay awake and watch you breathe
I stay awake and watch you fly
Away into the night
Escaping through a dream

I stay to watch you fade away
I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you’ll be gone
It gives me time to stay
to watch you fade away

I dream of you tonight
Tomorrow you’ll be gone
I wish by God you’d stay

***

He’s up at his parents now, this means one week without seeing him on Skype!:( I remember all too well the trip up last year, and how fantastic it was, and how wonderful his family was *heavy sigh*. But it’s not that bad, hey? Like, he’ll be here soon, and we can both find ways to keep busy till then.

On another note, I got accepted into the All Women’s Action Society (AWAM) Writers for Women’s Rights Program, to take place from the 22nd-25th November. Excellent. Am really thrilled and full of trepidation at the same time, and plagued by the most ridiculous thoughts. Like, can I really write? What if I run out of things to say? What if I’m not really a feminist, nor a quasi-feminist even, and what if my writings suck balls? Gaah.

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I can’t seem to shake off this descending blanket of melancholy that’s landed upon me like a ton of bricks. I miss him already, even more than ever.

I wish by God you’d stay.