08.14.07
when did we stop believing?
Almost all of us grew up, as my good friend Esther puts it, ‘with unicorns and fairytales’. We so firmly believed in the triumph of good over evil, magic dust that made dreams come true, and of course, in the Happily Ever After.
We sighed as children over images of handsome princes swooping in to save the damsel in distress just in the nick of time, while she swooned and sighed and looked at him with luminous big eyes that spoke of her undying gratitude for him. We cheered on as the underdog in any given situation trumped up the big bad bully and were told time and time again of the power of believing in ourselves.
Then, we grew up.
I forget exactly when I stopped believing with all my heart.
It might have been somewhere in between my confiding to my father that I wanted to save the world (or something to that effect), or when I realized bad things happen to good people.
I think I must have been distraught (because things like injustice always distress me) because my father would have definitely said something like “life’s not fair, my dear” to which my response probably would have been a few disappointed tears trickling down my (then) chubby cheeks.
It just seemed so contradictory, to be told one thing as a child, and to have the rules completely reversed as we attain a certain age.
As young ‘uns, we were oft told that ‘the world was our oyster’. We could achieve anything, all we needed to do was believe and persevere; that nothing bad would ever happen to us if we played by the rules.
It’s sad how the mighty have fallen. I may have attained the age of adulthood, and am allegedly ‘older and wiser’ and all those clichéd things, but here’s a secret: I still believe. I really do.
I believe that every person has a good heart, I believe in the indomitable strength of the human spirit; that good does eventually win out over evil (albeit not in the same life time; hence, one must also possess the virtue of patience); that true love happens.
It’s just a lot harder, believing, as an adult. You are laughed at, and looked down on for your naïveté and pitifully called a dreamer. True, there will be instances when your beliefs may be tempered, but personally I feel that there’s no reason to stop wanting things to be different.
Look around you—look at the wonderful, amazing people devoted to NGOs and social work, think of all those people out there doing unpaid work to help others. In fact, don’t look too far—look at your own mothers or grandparents who have done so much.
Maybe I am a dreamer. But there’s also a part of me that’s a realist that knows that shit does happen to good people. But I reckon the day we stop believing, both in ourselves and the people around us, is the day we have ceased to hope. And without hope, what else is there to live for?
ish said,
August 14, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Even I don’t remember when I last dreamt. Maybe I never did. When you’re young, you’re told all the good things so that you have a strong foundation. When you grow up, everybody knows that life isn’t that big bed of roses and hence you’re told that it’s not always good that triumphs.
What I think that it is necessary to stop believing at one time because otherwise you’ll be broken and all sad when you realize it’s that bad around. Of course, there are good people around who believe in things and do achieve it too, but then that requires a lot of courage and determination and patience and not many people have all these.
Contradicting myself, one should not stop being a dreamer. One has to think out of the box and believe in what one is doing. It just depends on the person, not everybody is able to live upto their dreams. Those who do, are satisfied and do good for everybody around them. If some of those underprivileged stop dreaming, there would be nothing left in their life. It’s their dream that someday somebody will come and save them from this world and some people do actually come, as NGO’s and other associations. But then they must realize that they shall need to do something for themselves because life doesn’t go the happily ever after way.
meldee: thanks ish
you’ve made lots of good points here, however, i think the important thing is to be an informed dreamer. heh. a contradiction? maybe, but one should never stop believing. you’re right though, both the underprivileged and the affluent/charitable need each other. they only exist in terms of their relationship to each other.
Sush said,
August 14, 2007 at 7:16 pm
i think ive stopped dreaming for a while already because previously, everytime i dream, i’ve been let down.
“expectations breed disappointment”
i still hope, but not as much as i use to. sad aint it?
ive become a realist. *shudder*
meldee: sushers, being a realist isn’t such a horrible thing either…i think. it’s ok to keep dreaming i reckon. i both agree and disagree with your ‘expectations breed disappointments’ quote; it’s both true and depressingly pessimistic (tautology coming into play here? hm). things always happen for a reason, sweets, perhaps it’s to bring something better for you into your life. not what you want, but what you need
Andrea said,
August 14, 2007 at 9:44 pm
hi melody
it’s andrea. anyway i stumbled upon your blog 2, 3 weeks ago. just wanted to say it’s a really lovely read, and i know what it’s like to have a boyfriend in melb! might i add i’m quite jealous that you will be seeing him soon..
meldee: aw, thanks andrea
is your boyf in melb too?:( it is tough hey. yeah i’ve been working my ass off, apparently airport taxes have gone up AGAIN…gaaaaaah!
Sarah said,
August 15, 2007 at 10:04 am
Hey Huni,
IF you are a dreamer, than so am I. I still believe thateveryone has a good heart and will right by others, I believe that wondering home late at night after finishing placement in the Melbourne that I will be fine and someone will always help. However, I am informed the same thing, especially in Australia. I am apparently naive, immature and very much a dreamer if you ask my parents. Even my boyfriend is trying to explain the evils of the world, yet I still believe. It keeps me sane…..
meldee:
hugs. you’re one of a kind babe. we all need insanity to keep us sane. when i come back i’ll loan you paulo coelho’s ‘veronika decides to die’. it’s the most beautiful, poignant and haunting stories i’ve ever read. in fact the book’s at timmy’s…in my box somewhere 
remind me!
wilzc said,
August 15, 2007 at 11:31 am
aha.. this blog somehow feels like a feminist club gathering…
*looks left and right with cautious eyes*
hie.. i.. im margeret…. you can call me margie
its my fisrt day at this meeting today… nice to meet ya’ll
*looks at the ‘topic of the day’ on the whiteboard*
owwhh boyfriends in melbourne. owh okay. Well…
i actually never had a boyfriend before, and ergo cannot
relate to the topic today but ive got a brother studying in melbourne!!
does that count?!!?!?
ahaha, nuff of the dumb jokes…. thats what boredom does to the mind. Well, these kinda dreams arent for the weak hearted. Some actually still believe in them. I somehow do (about that good people always win). I strive todo what i deem is good. However, im also a cynic.. hahaha. But some people out there are reaaaallly positive thinkers!! and they really do believe!! soo much!! for examplee.. urrh.. where do i meet these kinda ppl. Owh in religious places during gatherings!! omg.. theyre soo positive theyve got a glowing white aura about them =P and not to saay i detest these positive minds but, sometimes, taking a peek out the pink tinted window of theirs should make them realise that the world isnt as glee as it would seem to be. but one good turn deserves another, and even if its just for the sake of feeling nice n warm deep down inside.
to ish above -> im sure the NGO volunteers are well aware of that.
sigh. the world needs its share of dreamers and cynics.
meldee: